Once My Looks Go, I've Got Nothing

A few weeks ago, my roommate was watching the film John Q on cable and, in between staring at my reflection longingly, I watched most of it too. It was a decent movie; Denzel Washington was great as usual, and the plot was pretty interesting. However, there was one glaring flaw about the film: the script. It was so heavy-handed, the screenwriter must have been wearing gauntlets. I'm all for using major motion pictures to spread useful information, but several parts of John Q were like listening to people reciting from a textbook. I went to IMDB to find some quotes, since you can't honestly expect me to remember this stuff, but they didn't have many relevant to what I'm talking about. The closest one was this: Mitch : This country man, can't go anywhere without getting' mugged, or murdered or stabbed. Kids killin' their classmates, drivebys, ya know, I won't even go into a post office any more. Steve Maguire : Shut up, Mitch. Dr. Turner : No, you ...

I realize that this post is nothing particularly new; the video I'm about to show you is fairly infamous and has been viewed nearly a million times on YouTube as of this writing. However, since at least 10% of those views are just from me, I figure there's a decent chance that many of you have never seen it, and I simply must do what I can to spread it to the masses. Without further ado, the Iron Mic Challenge: Honestly, there is very little I can say about this that hasn't already been said better. For example, here is a pretty good breakdown of it, and the comments section here has some classic material. All I can suggest is to watch this video a few times. Appreciate the nuances. See Marv-O act mad Hom-o as he rubs on J-Dub like he was Eva Mendes. Ponder how judge A-14 "Action" Jackson resembles a poor man's Jamie Foxx as he once and for all settles the debate regarding the difference between "good" and "great." Notice how Marv-O is so...

Good afternoon, everyone. Everyone being most likely just me at this point. Anyway, hi. I'm Joey, and what I'm about to do here is introduce what amounts to my third...ugh, I hate this word...blog. Online journal, if you prefer. I know I do. Anyway, as of today I have registered my own name as a domain name, so the dreams of literally dozens, possibly less, have reached their long delayed fulfillment as joeymarsilio.com has officially gone live. And yes, it is every bit as shitty as you might expect. My only web design experience was as a part of a class at UC Santa Cruz taught by a man named Guy Cox (I'm not joking). The website does not exist anymore, unfortunately...if it did, I would have shared it with you in all its hot pink glory. The bottom line is, I don't know HTML from KKK (probably not the best example of an acronym), so whatever I churn out will likely have the visual appeal of a decaying fox corpse. Please bear with me as I figuratively attempt to tel...